Guest blogger Kelley Heckart has a great post for us today. I don’t know about you, but editing really makes my work shine. Kelley has some great tips for us to help with self editing. If you find this article helpful, don’t forget to stop by Kelley’s website and send a thank you. Or leave a comment here.
The editing process can be difficult, but by following some guidelines, the process can be more efficient. At least that is what I keep telling myself each time I have to self-edit a manuscript before submitting it to a publisher. I have to admit that it does seem to get easier the more I do it. I have a list of self-editing tips that I follow and they have helped me so far.
Compelling openings: This is the first thing I check. The opening of a story should grab the reader right away by starting in the middle of the action without bogging down the beginning with back-story. Back-story can be sprinkled in throughout the story later. As an example, here is the opening line from one of my books called Ravenwolf: ‘Something unnatural stirred in the black-winged night.’
Strong verbs: For example, instead of ‘The girl went outside,’ write ‘The girl walked outside.’ The second sentence does a better job of describing the action. Also, try to avoid using too many adverbs, or ‘ly’ words. Instead of ‘She reacted angrily,’ try something like ‘She stared hard at him, her eyes blazing.’ Too many adverbs will annoy an editor and there are better ways to express action. Here is a link to a helpful site by Deanna Carlyle with a list of over a thousand action verbs: www.deannacarlyle.com/articles/verb.html
Use of the five senses: Using the five senses (touch, sound, smell, sight and taste) will help with descriptions. Descriptions are used for showing rather than telling, which is one of the most important, and oftentimes confusing, rules of writing.
Showing/not telling: This is the one I had the most trouble with until I learned that a great way to tell if a sentence is too telling is if it contains the words ‘was’ or ‘were.’ For an example, here is the original opening of my book, Cat’s Curse: ‘It was so cold she was certain ice clung to the moon like silver talons. She felt the cold—it bit into her bones, a reminder that she was once mortal. She moved through the thick forest of tall pine, oak, beech, birch and rowan, venturing further into the forest, her booted feet crunching on the frost-encrusted earth.’
Now here is the new opening: ‘The hunt called to her, singing in her veins. Moonbeams cleaved through the frozen night, striking the earth between outstretched branches like gleaming metal blades. Cold air cut into her bones with sharp, icy talons, reminding her she had once been mortal. Venturing further into the thick forest of tall pine, oak, beech, birch and rowan, Cardea’s booted feet crunched on the frost-encrusted earth, her senses searching out the sweet scent of blood.’
Which one is showing more than telling? Hopefully you picked the second one. When I self-edit now, I do a search on these two words. My rule of thumb is if the sentence can be re-written, I change it. If not, I skip over it.
For another example, the sentence ‘She was tired.’ can be re-written to show that she is tired: ‘She struggled to keep her eyes open and stifled a yawn.’
There is nothing wrong with using ‘was’ or ‘were’ in a sentence, and sometimes it is necessary to use them, but overusing these words could mean a rejection on an otherwise great manuscript.
Unnecessary/Overused words: This is the one I have to fix every time. I have different words for each new story that I like to use over and over again. Overusing words is very annoying to an editor or a reader. By the fourth draft, I start to notice the overused words and I do a search for them, changing some to a different word. Some of the most common overused words are felt, that, had, could, should, would, am, is, are, were, be, being, been, have, can, will, may, might, just, so, did, does. My rule for this is the same as the one for showing/telling: if another word can be substituted, then I change it, if not, I skip it. In some cases like with ‘had’ or ‘that’ the word can be omitted.
Varied sentence structure: For this one, just make sure every sentence does not begin with The or She/He/I and have longer sentences mixed with shorter ones. Here is another example from Cat’s Curse: ‘A pleased smile formed on Cardea’s lips. The strong scent of blood stirred her senses–warm blood…and human. Like an experienced predator, she adjusted her step, moving on silent feet through carpets of fern toward the scent of fresh blood, eager to sate her thirst. She moved like a shadow, darting in and out of the lofty trees.’
Participial Phrases/Dangling Modifiers/Roving Body Parts and Redundancies: I decided to group these together since I seem to find them near each other in my self-edits. It’s nice to be able to throw in a participial phrase to vary the sentence structure, but beware of sentences like this one: ‘Walking across the room, he opened the door.’ This just is not possible, unless he can move the door with his mind. And beware of dangling modifiers. For example: ‘Closing my eyes, the doctor readied the needle.’ It should be: ‘Closing my eyes, I waited for the doctor to stick the needle in my arm.’ Read over your sentences carefully and make sure they make sense. Also watch out for roving body parts like: ‘His eyes rolled over the woman’s body.’ A better way to say it would be something like: ‘His gaze swept over the woman’s body.’ Beware of redundancies like: ‘She shrugged her shoulders.’ It should be: ‘She shrugged.’ What else would she be shrugging?
Action Tags: Action tags help create a vibrant picture for the reader. A good rule to follow for action tags is that ’said’ and ‘asked’ should be the main tags used most of the time. And when possible, it is best to use a body language action tag and leave out the dialog tag. Try not to have a long stretch of dialog with no action tags. This phenomenon is called ‘talking heads’ and can confuse a reader or pull them out of the story.
Expanded moments: Expanding a moment with vivid descriptions can help with showing more, and helps to draw the reader in and hook them. I usually do this in the final drafts. I like to think of it as icing on the cake.
Hopefully these tips will help other writers as much as they help me.
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About the Author:
Kelley Heckart writes Celtic historical romances with fantasy elements. Her stories reflect her passion for history, storytelling and the supernatural. Inspired by the ancient Celts, her tales are filled with fierce warriors, bold women, magic, conflict and romance. Kelley and her books can be found online at www.kelleyheckart.com
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Hi Alice,
Thanks for having me as a guest blogger at CataUniversity. I hope my tips are helpful. Now, if only I would follow my own advice when I’m writing.
Thanks for a great summary.
My editing checklist is similar and I also use the AutoCrit Editing Wizard to keep me on the straight and narrow.
It’s amazing how good editing can turn an average first draft into something really marvelous
Thank You for the informative post. It helped to clear up a few things for me.
But I have a question– Do you find that editors prefer you not use -ing words repeatedly in your stories?
Very good tips, Kelly. The advice is clearly written with compelling illustrations and contains information we should all read over before starting the final edit on a manuscript.
Thanks for all who stopped by and left a comment.
Stephanie, I think balance is the key and using ing words is okay, but not to overuse them. It probably depends on the editor and how the writing flows overall.
Was just discussing editing with our newest member (another Kelly, no E)when I ran across this post. Thanks for the good info.