This isn’t an inspirational blog so much as what I’d call a “cautionary” article on one of my biggest pet peeves: Unnecessary dialog tags. I know many, many published authors love dialog tags I would consider unnecessary, so I’m not going to tell you it’s wrong to use them, but they drive me insane.

“Does anybody know what’s on TV tonight?” Ron asked, caressing his remote in one hand and a bag of chips in the other. “I can’t find the TV Guide.”

It’s perfectly clear Ron is asking simply from the dialog; you don’t need to tell us. Much neater and more rhythmically balanced to my ear is the following:

“Does anybody know what’s on TV tonight?” Ron caressed his remote in one hand and a bag of chips in the other. “I can’t find the TV Guide.”

Simple dialog tags, (“I know,” Emma said.) are often either unnecessary, if it’s perfectly obvious Emma is due to speak next, or, if it’s not obvious, then a simple “said” can be plain lazy if action or thought would illustrate more about the scene or her mood. (“I know.” Emma tried not to gag at the mere thought.) If you have several people speaking or need the dialog to rush past, then a “Ron said” or “Patsy said” can serve you well to identify the speaker, but most of the time, blech, they’re filler.

Sometimes, when authors want to show a character is pausing between bits of dialog, they use a tag. “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.” I think this is pure laziness. Give him something to do or think, so the reader can really picture the pause and understand it. “I know.” He started to reach for her, then let his hand drop. “I’m sorry.”

I see a lot of alternating dialog and action in contest entries and to my eye and internal ear, it’s clumsy:

“What time is it?” Marie looked ruefully at her broken watch. “I can’t tell on this thing.” She looked over her shoulder. “Oh look, here comes Fred with the donkey.” Her nose wrinkled. “I hope he gave it a bath.”

Try not to interrupt dialog more than once.

“What time is it? I can’t tell on this thing.” Marie looked ruefully at her broken watch, then glanced over her shoulder and wrinkled her nose. “Oh look, here comes Fred with the donkey. I hope he gave it a bath.”

Just some tips from someone with a big chip on her shoulder re: dialog tags. Once you become aware of a story full of “she said, he said, she asked, he asked” you start to twitch. Don’t even get me started on “he supplied, he added, he continued, he replied” etc. because it will not be pretty.

Seriously, I won’t tell you it’s wrong to use lots ‘o dialog tags but to my eye and internal ear it’s clutter. And clutter is a bad word in writing! Clean it up and see how you feel about your prose and your scenes. Then decide for yourself.

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